In my last blog I talked about bullying behaviour and how organisations need to make provision for dealing with it when it occurs. But if you’re an employee who feels like you’re being bullied or close to being bullied by your boss, is there anything that you can do to improve the relationship? A good place to start is trying to understand the underlying cause of your boss’ behaviour – this can then empower you to become part of the solution.
In the most extreme and rarest form, the bullying boss feels threatened by others and needs to put subordinates down in order to enhance their own self-esteem. It is very difficult to deal with this type of bully, because of the deep-seated drivers of the behaviour – something that cannot be easily resolved or dealt with by employees. This makes it a matter for the bully’s manager and, in reality, leaves employees with two choices – escalate the matter or find another job!
For most bullies, however, behaviour is driven by the fact that they, themselves, are so overloaded or under pressure that they can’t handle their workload. This frustrates them and, often lacking the skills to cope, they ultimately take it out on their subordinates. There can be several underlying causes of this kind of behaviour: The bullying boss may not be able to handle the pressure inherent in their job; they may be unable (or unwilling) to delegate to others; or they may habitually blame others when things go wrong, rather than thinking about their own behaviour. Another explanation is that the bully is simply in the wrong job!
Fortunately in many cases the ‘overloaded bully’ can be helped – it’s possible for such managers to develop better skills in this area with the right help and support from the organisation. Just as importantly, though, employees can improve the way that they ‘manage upwards’ by being more aware during periods of overload. If employees understand a bit more about the triggers, they can become a source of support rather than contributing further to their boss’ stress and bad behaviour.
It can help to remember that our bosses are usually under at least as much pressure and have a workload that is at least as heavy as our own. There’s no excuse for bullying behaviour or poor management that is driven by personal needs ahead of what’s best for the organisation. However, next time you’re on the end of bad management behaviour stop for a moment and try to see things from your boss’ perspective. Think about your own behaviour and what would be most likely to get things back on track for the organisation. Consider how you would have behaved differently if you were your boss and file that learning away – you may be in your boss’ shoes one day!
This blog was adapted from a ‘Public Servant’ article published in September 2008.
Looking back I should have realised the situation and just gone and got another job. I’ve seen similar situations happen to other people.
A manager decided to get rid of me. I realise I had made him look bad by getting a substantial government grant for the college I was working at.
There was then a test. I had to write a report saying that the money should be used for a particular make of computer. However, I was also told that we were to run Microsoft accredited courses, which we could not on these machines.
I asked my head of department to allow the manager to make the recommendations and I just wanted to go back to being just a normal lecturer. But I was instructed to write the report.
Then it started software I needed would not work. Resources I need were not available. When I raised support requests I was seen as being awkward.
Although other managers new what was going they washed their hands. Others saw me as being a trouble maker.
Stupidly I tried for a couple of years to stay in my position. I got more and more depressed and ended suicidal. My students suffered as I did not have the equipment to teach them properly.
My department head just allowed the man to shout and swear and me in the meeting to discuss this matter. My meeting with personnel was seen as me stirring up for my manager.
As a result I had a breakdown, which lead to a medical retirement, which has taken me years to recover from.
Lessons I’ve learnt.
If you are in the public sector do not exceed the expectations of your job it invariably puts people’s nose out of joint.
Your own mental health is very important. If you are being bullied then it is easier to leave then to carry on. I know this is difficult in the present climate.
Play the networking game. If I had not done my job as well, but had spent my free time chatting to managers etc I would have done better.
Lots of people in the public have breakdowns, suffer from burn out or have to leave their jobs late in life because of their conflict between public service and the reality of their jobs. These are the strongly motivated seeing their organisation fail to deliver mainly because of government constantly changing the rules.
In my department of 12. Four members of staff had mental problems, which resulted in them leaving. Personnel should have done something about that. The turnover in the department was high.
Even though suicidal my doctor signing me off for 6 weeks absence was a mistake. I was just left at home to brood. When I went back to work I was defeated and I had given ammunition for further harassment. There should have been some sort of therapy and I’d probably been OK.
The bully boss ain’t nothin’ but a garden variety psychopath. It can’t be “managed” out of them. Bide your time. Don’t believe th hype about HR. Unless you have dirt on the Bully Boss, get out before you lose your marbles.
Don’t let it define or destroy you — let it make you stronger.
http://kissingup.wordpress.com/2011/10/03/fired-wrongly/